Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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