its not stalking. its research.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
