office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
