all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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