I like to think it a success when the cops are called
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
