were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
