ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Enjoy the penises
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
