Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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