I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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