There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
