I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
