i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
