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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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