Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
