I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Randomize
