Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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