Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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