So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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