I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
