batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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