Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize