NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
