Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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