Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
