i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize