he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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