you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
