I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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