am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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