you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
