Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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