i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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