i don't like sucking hair
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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