office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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