apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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