I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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