doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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