I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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