so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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