My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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