The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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