Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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