If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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