just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
