It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
