I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
