Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize