we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
