The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
