Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
