true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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