dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize