I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
