You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
