I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
