I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it because I queefed?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize