do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
