When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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