I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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