he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
