i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
