im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
